I Miss You

I thought this was suppose to get easier but I guess not..it seems to be getting harder :( I just miss you soo much and I miss you more and more each day..and each day that passes and we don't talk my heart hurts just a little more..its been a month...feels like forever..I miss telling you how my day went and listening to yours. I miss the sweet little texts of " I love you's" and " can't wait to see you" we would send..and I miss you calling me in the morning to say good morning to me..I hate this soo much.. I feel like I am missing apart of myself..and its a battle everyday to not call you to not text you and tell you how much I miss you and how much I love you.. so I just sit on my bed and cry..God I cry so many tears for you, and I beg God to fix this and even though I don't know how this will all end and workout I know it will but in Gods timing..I just can't imagine our lives serperate and it just rips me to pieces to think of it that way.

I wish you knew how much I love you..I think you do and I want too badly to tell you, you have no idea how hard this has been for me to not act upon everything I want to do.. but I know it wouldn't change anything.. I'm not gonna play those games this time, I'm not gonna beg you to come back..I can't not this time.. I can pray thats all and know that God can change your heart and turn you back to him and reconcile us..But since I can't call you and tell you how I feel I will write it here.. I LOVE YOU!!!! I MISS YOU!!! soo much it hurts.. I see your face soo clearly in my mind your beautiful smile with your dimples and the way your eyes have this sweet glow when you look at me...and I hear all your words that you said echo in my mind all day and its like torture..but I hold so tight to them...Its been rough this past 9 years.. God knows that..but he can make the next 9...15...20 a dream :) so I am trying to just trust him and its soo hard.. its soo hard to let go..I feel like this pain will never end..and it will never change sometimes but then I hear Gods voice whisper to me.. I hear you and I love you and I can make this all better just be patient I am working...not as fast as I may want but he does show me in little ways he is working..soo I will sit and love you and miss you and just pray that you know I am here praying for you..