So today things are starting to hit me. I have until the 30th for my fulltime job then I won't have it anymore which is depressing just in and of itself..but today I feel alone..i feel empty and scared. And I miss you so much today, I have been fine the past week or two..just trying to live and survive..but today I am in tears I miss you so dearly. Probably my own fault for looking at pictures of old time and special moments..and I don't understand..how did I get here. How did all this happen..and why isn't it being fixed...my heart hurts and feels like there is nothing left..everything around me feels like its falling apart..and all I want is you to be there to hold me and tell me you are there. and it hurts the most that you won't and there is nothing I can say or do to change anything. It is soo frustrating to be inlove with somone who could care less. I don't know what I am gonna do about anything and trying to just leave it in Gods hands but I am so scared...I don't wanna move I don't want to keep on struggling and I just wish everything would be okay it doesn't have to be perfect but I would take okay no more drama no more pain...
Well thats where I am right now :( uhhggg I hate this..trying to not call you trying to not break down..pretend like I am soo strong and I can handle it as usually but inside I am just broken..
Anyways nothing I can do soo just gonna keep going I guess...dunno where but keep going
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