So I just finished watching the movie fireproof yes and I am off and still up till 3am.. and no I don't know what my problem is..to much stuff on my mind. I cried oh how I cried so hard with this movie..and the soundtrack is awesome..I needed this..I needed to see this. Although I have no clue how this can ever be fixed..especially now. I trust you lord plain and simple..Not sure what I am suppose to do at this moment want to text him and ask for his forgiveness for giving up. For disbelieving god. but I am scared..its putting myself out there its taking away the upper hand the control I have to not be hurt. but I guess I just need to...stop trying to put this huge wall up so you don't break my heart so you don't keep hurting me..this is soooo hard. I just keep sitting here thinking how can this ever work..HOW LORD HOW???? I just feel like I am giving in..uhggg this is soo freaking hard. But someone has to bend and I wish it was you...I dunno I just haveno clue what the next step is..so I am not gonna move till I know that. Just wait....gulp....patiently.
Lord help me to be patient..to trust you and know you have never let me down not once ever in my life. Help me to keep praying for my marraige and my husband amidst the feelings I have at the moment over the situation. Lord make it all that you want it to be. And forgive me for giving up and thinking this is beyond what you can do. Amen
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